This is an angry post!
So I’d like to start out by saying how amazing I think it is that we have the NHS and that we are so lucky to have so many men and women working tirelessly to keep us healthy and alive.
I have had some fantastic dealings with medical professionals during my lifetime. And even though most of our dealings during this time were very negative, there were several shining stars too.
The doctor who came and explained about our first miscarriage. You were so kind and considerate.
The GP who listened and took me seriously. Who encouraged me to call him and say I was having spotting and cramps even though I wasn’t so I could have the early scan I needed.
The nurse who comforted me during my womb scan, when I was overwhelmed by emotion.
The audiology department at my local hospital who were understanding and tried their hardest to get me the treatment I needed.
The midwife who called to offer her condolences after our fourth loss.
These are the heros of our story.
But for every shining star there were many dark moments;
Having to beg and lie for easy scans after our first miscarriage.
Poor bedside manner; being told to have a nice day by the same doctor who just told us we’d lost our baby. And another said it was nice to meet us after another. Think!! Yes you may not know what to say or it may just slip out but think! How can I possibly have a good day and I’d rather that I’d never met you.
The specialist who didn’t seem to give a damn. Who did not support us in any way and was generally useless.
The people who sent out 12 week scan letters despite me losing the baby a month before.
The haematology department who stressed me out so much about results that showed absolutely nothing.
The psychologist who thought mindfulness could cure everything.
The receptionist at the early pregnancy unit for giving us a customer satisfaction survey card each time. Would you recommend this department to family & friends? What do you reckon? Maybe give me one on the way out when I don’t lose a baby!!
The complete lack of emotional support or counselling ever being offered. For dealing with the physical side of things but never even enquiring about the rest.
For never telling us that at our last scan with baby #4 they had classed it as a ‘threatened miscarriage’. We should never have heard this for the first time after the fact. Maybe if we’d known we would’ve been more prepared!
Thank you all for making what were the worst experiences of our lives a whole lot worse.
It may not be like this in other areas or for other people. But this is what it was like for us. There is a lot more that can and should be done to support people who are going through this. I understand there a restrictions and budgets. But for people like us these are the darkest days and not everyone is able to dig themselves out.
I kick myself all the time for not complaining more, not fighting harder or making more of a fuss. But to be honest, it was a big enough fight to just get out of bed!